Why is moving so difficult?

So I get ready to move in about 3 days. S C A R Y ! ! ! I knew this day would come, but just not so fast. It kind of feels like I'm starting all over. I thought it would feel more natural to move back to Michigan. Having grown up in Detroit and all, it just seemed like it would be a home coming. Nothing is further from he truth. I'm leaving behind 11 years of history, friends, memories, difficulties, frustrations, and familiarity. These things tie you to a place you know? Rather than a Michigander coming back home, I feel like a Minnesotan leaving home.

That's not to say I'm not totally excited about what's in front of us. I'm going to be less then 4 hours from any one member of my family, I get to live in one of the most beautiful places in Michigan (can I say the country?), work with a Pastor I have already grown to love and respect personally and professionally, get to know great new people, be part of growing and building an amazing church and more!

I just wish I could somehow take hold of what's in front of me without letting go of what I have now.

And that's the problem I guess. Moving on means letting go. Israel had to leave Egypt to get to the promise land. Egypt wasn't always a land of slavery, it started out as a land of supply, provision, and God's plan. It's not too hard to understand why, even though they were headed for God's will, the Israelites longed for Egypt after they left. They too had a hard time letting go.

I think if I were to stay here, what has been God's provision and blessing would become a place of slavery. God has a plan for Julie and I in Michigan, and it's a land full of milk and honey, (or at least sand and water....) but in order to get there we have to let go and literally move.

I feel like the Israelites in the desert--the place of limbo. We're not yet where God wants us, but we've left where we were. I find myself asking, "God have you called us to leave Farmington so we can die in Grand Haven?"

The nagging question in our conscious and subconscious minds is, "if we let go, what will we hold on to to keep us safe and secure while we wait for God's plan to be fulfilled?" "What about our friends, what about our house, what about Julie's job, what about our dogs, what about our future? If we let go, what else can we hold on to?"

I guess there's always Jesus--but for some reason he never seems like enough.

Some pics

I wanted to try out adding photos, so here's a couple to start.





This is my nephew Nate: We often lock him up in his cage...but I think he likes it.
I'm waiting for his senior year of high school to pull this one out again and embarress him in front of all his friends. Aren't I a great uncle?








This is Nate's big sis Kaleigh. She's quite the performer and always ready for a photo op. She was helping Grandma Hawthorne make the stuffing for Thanksgiving. Someone forgot to tell her you're suppose to stuff the Turkey, not your cheeks.












This picture is from two Christmases ago at our house in Farmington. Our dog Moxie was only about 4 months old. We now have Jack, but I couldn't find our recent Christmas photo. Just imagine another dog like this one and add a even sillier grin and a tongue sticking half way out. There's a reason we affectionately call him, "the village idiot." :-)




So there you have a few photos....I'll add more latter.

First Posting

Well, this is sort of a maiden voyage of sorts for me. I'm not on the internet. My thoughts, my life, my sense of humor will be posted for the whole world to see, that is, at least those parts I want them to see.

I've fought establishing a web presence/identity (i.e. blog, facebook, myspace etc...) for sometime for all kinds of reasons.

1) It seemed like such a waste of time. I have lots of things I would rather do then sit in front of a screen and pour out my sad life's story to the world... like spending hours in front of a tv to play violent video games and pour out my wrath and anger on helpless aliens, terrorists, and helpless bystanders.

2) Do I really want total strangers to know my favorite breakfast cereal is Cinnamon Toas Crunch and if I could be any teenage mutant ninja turtle I would be Michaelangelo and other deeply personal details of my life?

3) By starting this, will I become an addict? Is there a OAA (on-line addicts annonymous)?

4) Finaly, the reason that initiated the need to come up with other reasons to hide the real reason: keeping these things up to date takes way too much commitment and energy, I have FTC disease.... Failure To Commit. I'd try to change, but that would take too much commitment.

SO--- Here I am world, come to my virtual doorstep and get to know me...that is the pseudo-real on-line me that I portray in order to hide the real me behind a virtual wall of technology and inpersonal but semi-relevant information.

See ya' around